Great news!

I have realized today I have not had to ask anyone to repeat a sentence in nearly 2 weeks. I'm not as worried about being around people anymore cause I'm always confident I'm going to hear them fine, and I do tend to. I also managed to hear Thomas say a sentence in the car, without looking at him. Though, I think he was talking like I was deaf cause he didn't seem to process I could possibly understand him in the car yet without looking at him. Nice. I must say it was convenient,.. and safe... as I was going off the road a lot less. :-)

On the flip side, we have not been practicing sounds. It's been 2 months since activation and I'm such a lagger. I've got my first official hearing test with the CI in just a month too.

Do I wear the CI all the time? No. I tend to put it on a few hours after I wake up if I'm going to watch tv or go somewhere, or I might just wait til night time when I watch tv. I might also put it on if I feel I need to be alert to something, such as UPS arriving, or even Thomas coming home. On rare days, I just won't wear it at all. I also take it off several hours before I go to bed because my ear just reaches a point where it kinda hurts from the device. Which by the way, seriously needs to be made smaller. Poor kids that wear these things.

Certainly have improvements

Well, I haven't posted much in a while. Nothing is necessarily blogable, but I can say my hearing has improved with the CI indefinitely. Rather, it's more noticeable of the improvements. I can simply listen to videos from the computer now without needing headphones (in fact, I prefer using the CI than headphones now), even though I do not bother to use the cable that will allow me to specifically hook the CI to the computer. I also do not bother to hook the CI to my Ipod when I go running, and just use headphones and my other ear. Mainly due to the sweat I develop when I exercise, but also because the CI is still picky in what music it likes and what sounds it is picking up.

I have been able to understand people a lot easier without having to ask anyone to repeat; however it can still be hard to hear someone who isn't within 6 feet of me, whose lips I can't see, and if there is a lot of background noise. My husband and I have not been practicing speech as much as we should be. Mainly cause he is never home and I'm always busy with schoolwork or just excited to get out of the house. But I can certainly hear when someone behind me is talking compared to me walking away from them in the past because I had no idea.

I have yet to try the phone. Although I have been capable of actually hearing people talk through speakerphone, although, I was only able to make out numbers compared to actual words. I have considered eavesdropping on my husbands speaker calls as "practice with the CI." Haha.

Music is still vague. If there is a lot of instruments going on, especially bass, the song will sound abnormal. A drum will sound like the high pitch keys on a piano. Therefore, the most simple songs tend to sound the best so far, such as Celine Dion's "It's all coming back to me," which sounds absolutely clear. Especially her amazing voice, which makes her songs anyway.

My next mapping is on the 21st, and I'll be mentioning all this to my audiologist and hoping she can make a few more adjustments that will make, at least, music, sound the way it should. Plus, some sounds in speech are still not as clear as they should be, and that might be because high frequencies need to be raised more in order to distinguish the differences.

AB Recalls HiRes 90k Implant

A few days ago, Advanced Bionics recalled its HiRes 90k implant... the same one I specifically asked for 2 months ago. It is stated that two people came forward about having severe pain, shocks and extreme sensitivity to sounds within 8-10 days of activation and had to have it removed. The cause of this is unknown however, and it also seems unclear of when exactly these individuals came forward, although it sounds recent. Further assuming that the potential problem may be from implants that were mailed out two weeks after mine, if not sooner.

Although I should not entirely be alarmed, I was told that 9 more people have since then come forward with the same problems stating they occurred within 3 months of activation, although there are no reliable sources about this in the news yet. In which case, if this implant is going to fail me, it'll happen within the next two months or else it'll wait a few decades to give up.

Someone that gets an implant does not ever want to read/hear about something like this happening. Especially if it's all happening around the same time frame where you could be a victim of it too. Because at this point, if this implant fails me and I have it removed, chances are I can't get a new one because it's going to be pointless because the removal of the implant will further damage all I've got left in my cochlea. Then I'd have the option of implanting the other ear instead, or accepting the reality and moving on with my life... in which case, I'd choose the latter. Either way, I 'should' be fine, but I guess it's unpredictable. If it doesn't fail for whatever the cause of the current failures, it'll fail eventually someday anyway. 

CI setback

When I was waiting for my surgery for the CI, I was warned that even though the CI will improve my hearing and communication, it's not going to perfect it. Of course I was aware of this and never expected perfection, but a few nights ago I got my first taste of proof of it. I was at walmart at the checkout and realized I couldn't hear the cashier talk at all because the store was so loud due to its electricity usage causing hums and all that crap. That was the first time since getting the CI that I felt like my usual hard-of-hearing-in-my-own-world self. I was kinda sad because it shouldn't do that!! If I wanted to be myself, I would not wear it.

There is a program called ClearVoice for AB's recipients and it is an upgrade program. Unfortunately, the FDA has not approved it for this country yet, and it is only available in Canada and Europe, and I think I've heard even Mexico has it. It is suppose to have the capability to zone in on vocals while putting environment noises in the background so it improve communication in situations similar to what I was in at walmart. There is mostly good reviews of the program, but some bad. But either way, I and probably many in this country, can't wait to have it and at least test it out.

What's the FDA waiting on anyway? They approve of bugs and poop in our food but won't pass a potential beneficial implant program? Why is the FDA in charge of such medical things anyway? They are the "food and drug administration", not "medical" anything. Perhaps a separate administration needs to be developed for such cases. The MA: "Medical Association" and I will be President. Kinda serious there. :-)

Speech Test: 2nd attempt

I took the Advanced Bionics speech test again tonight to see any improvements compared to last time. Last time you may remember I started getting mixed sounds in the different consonants/different vowels section, as I had mistaken words like ring for joke, and had an 85/100 score. This time I heard the word ring every single time and got it correct, but am mistaken words like fun for pear because fun sounds like pick. Yet, I seem to be hearing the f's fine in other words, and I can hear pear fine when they say it. I got a 93/100 this time around, which isn't too bad. 

Then I moved up to the same first consonants/different vowel test and started going downhill again with a score of 36/50. The more I tried to figure out what word on the chart it was saying, the more I got it wrong, but if I really focused to make out just the vowel during the first try, I tend to get it correct. Although if you were to give me a total speech test and expect me to repeat back the correct word, I might get like 1 out of 20 right. I also got a 36/50 on the initial manner test... which I believe is like the previous one expect more of the words were alike and had one small difference in their sounds.

What's neat is that I can hear r's fine now. Back in middle school, I was specifically in speech therapy to focus on my r's... I couldn't hear them well nor could I pronounce it. It was like trying to get me to speak Italian as my therapist told me to put my tongue on the roof of my mouth. Either way, my car sounded like caw. The most confusing part was that as I watched my therapist pronounce it, she/he didn't seem to be saying it the way they were telling me to so it was ridiculous. My lack of correctly pronouncing r's made people believe I had a Boston Accent. Maybe I did. I pick up accents pretty well and can imitate British or Spanish after one listening. After all, my parents are from Massachusetts (as I was born there, but wasn't essentially raised there).

I've got another week with my CI at these levels before my fourth mapping, in which my levels will be raised further. I feel like they need some leveling out though... as my speech testing is showing I'm not distinguishing a different set of sounds now. Fun should not sound like pick. Like ring vs joke, it makes no sense, but if they're on that test, obviously experts realize how they can be confused. But I don't.

Third Mapping/ Hearing Improvements obvious

Need I say more?

Just kidding. But seriously, see the improvement from basically pre-surgery to one month after activation (2 months after surgery)?? Yea!

It was not a thorough evaluation I had today, but a quickie test to see how I'm doing cause I asked when I'd be able to get another beep test and she said at 3 months (in 2 more months), but she has so much free time and was like "why not?" (she = audiologist).

I mentioned to her the speech test I did last night and she agrees I'm where I should be, but after the test she did, realized I really gotta do much speech therapy, so sent me home with copies to practice with my husband. I don't even think my audiologist knows how I can't hear the difference between ring and joke. But what can we say? Just gotta practice. And hopefully my brain will learn to distinguish.

Other than that, I had my IDR increased to 80, the max, I assume, and my electrode levels increased about 5-15 points (over the 3 settings I have on the CI, as I adapt to each level to prepare for another increase in 2 weeks). I asked her how much the levels range from, and although I didn't get a super clear answer, she mentioned that most people with the CI reach the 200-250 range and remain there... while right now, I'm ranging between 150s to as low as 115 in the high frequencies. Although the aim is to get all the frequencies leveled, it's something that I won't achieve for another 3-6 months cause the high frequencies take a lot of time to get use to (for obvious reasons- no one wants cymbals going off next to their head all day).

Other than all this, I go back in two more weeks for some more tweaking and in about 2 months, I'll have another hearing test, and maybe a speech test, to see how I'm really doing. Oh, and she mentioned my own speech has already improved and that my voice is more volume appropriate. haha. Which was funny and kinda nice to hear cause I usually get insulted that I speak too low or too loud (too loud compared to a whisper, psh), and it use to hurt my feelings cause people were asking me to "speak up" which makes me feel like I was yelling and it was just way uncomfortable. Plus, it's always strange when normal hearing people gotta ask a deaf/hard of hearing person to speak up to begin with... isn't it? :-)

Hearing exercises

I went into the Hearing Journey Listening Room tonight to finally check it out. I downloaded the CLIX program and played around with it for the past hour. First starting with 'suprasegmentals' (whatever that is) and passing it easily because it was kinda retarded. Giving me the option between things like "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" and "ba." The next level on different syllables was also pretty easy to the point I just had to quit and move on to the next level of different consonants/vowels. Now this level is where I starting making mistakes. Out of 100, I got 85 correct. But I was mishearing things like catch vs pass, jake vs gift and ring vs joke. The last one is totally amusing me because how in the world does RING and JOKE sound alike? I can't tell them apart with the CI, but if I say them right now they definitely do not sound alike. I would assume this means my CI needs some tweaking somewhere if I can't tell a strong O apart from an EE.

Also, according to this site (click site), I need to have my electrodes adjusted so my frequencies will be of equal volumes. There is a calibration test of 16 beep frequencies, and half of them sound too low to me, with the last four frequencies ranging from 3022-6665 seeming like I will have issues tolerating them at a higher volume. They're not loud at this moment, but they have that high frequency pitch as if cymbals are going off next to you. And how many people like to hear cymbals? Ya.

Either way, tomorrow is my 3rd mapping that I was suppose to have last thursday, but came down with a short cold and had to reschedule.

Improvements and Thoughts

Voices have improved. I can tell a girl from a boy now. Singing voices on the other hand... some sound really... crappy... but some sound smooth, though, voices are still, overall, incomprehensive. But not all. I have managed to watch people talk on TV without reading the captions and hearing/understanding probably 40% of speech. But it certainly depends on the person talking. Reminds me of back in middle and high school when I used an FM trainer... this CI feels equivalent to it... noises go directly to my new ear and like I could with the FM, I understood speech waaaaaaaaaaay better, sometimes without lip reading.

Some people think I'm going to love this CI so much I'll be willing to get my other ear implanted as soon as I can. Let me just clarify the way I perceive my situation right now...

Before I got this implant, I didn't want it because I was completely content with who and how I was. I may have trouble hearing people, I may be anti-social because I grew up this way, I may feel discrimination (with no evidence: haha) towards actually scoring a job I would do completely fine at if someone looked past how much I fail an interview because they have to repeat things four times, but I accepted it all. My idea of being happy is being satisfied with who I am and where I am in life, and although it took me until I was 22 years old to get there, I got there. Therefore, I must also mention I'm not a fan of change. Just the idea of throwing me into a social situation (also a changed situation compared to my preference of sitting at home reading), makes me imagine how uncomfortable and boring the situation will be. Although to my realization, the situations are never even as bad as I imagine them, and it takes me reminding myself that in order to talk myself into something, but sometimes I forget, and will totally back out and be alone... where I am the most happy.

Either way, I got this implant because I somehow became open to change and the possibility of my life being a bit easier, if not a lot easier, just by supposedly hoping to hear a little better than I do with hearing aids (since I never wear my hearing aids in the first place). It would be great to be able to succeed at a job interview and actually get a job on my own someday (or maybe with some recommendations, haha) and it would be great to hear what someone is saying to me after two attempts, compared to 4+ attempts and using a third party to explain... assuming we don't give up. Those are just two things I want the most, everything else that comes along with having the CI will just be awesome. But I mean, is it really necessary that I can hear this fan over my head making a ticking noise? Naw, but that's how normal people feel too!

Although having bilateral implants would improve my ability to socialize even greater, I don't see it as necessary. I feel like I have the best of two worlds right now: I've got this bionic device in my head helping me learn to hear as humanly as possible, and I've still got my other ear, no matter how severely deaf it is, that still allows me hear the things I've been hearing for the last 10 years, allows me to hear basic things and still talk/hear when I'm not wearing the CI, and allows me hear the music I've liked for 11 years. Why would I want to give up this ear that is molded me into what I am? Because let's face it, most of you wouldn't even be in my life if I grew up with normal hearing; because although I'm auditorily limited and different from anyone you probably know, I'm pretty awesome from the solitude I've had growing up. I'm not saying getting the second implant would make me less awesome, I just don't see is as necessary.

Will there be an exception? Quite possibly when my my ear completely gives out and is utterly useless. Now that my right ear is naturally deaf, I actually have a deafness to compare my left ear too, and at this point, it seems like an awesome ear when the CI isn't overbearing it. I'll probably be in my 40s the day my left ear completely gives up, but the technology might even be more amazing by then too.

A few new things

I heard a few new things lately. I realized the toaster oven has a timer clicking to it! Which excited me cause like, I usually knew a microwave had a ticking to it as it counted down, but I never thought the toaster oven did for some reason.

I also heard someone release a really LOUD gas bubble today. It was REALLY amusing cause I usually just FEEL those, not hear them. (I am not talking about myself here). :-)

Let's see, Jets are becoming more obvious to the CI now. As they're incoming and until they're out of range. It's pretty annoying.

Today, some kid kicked or threw something really hard at our house tonight and it shocked the crap out of me. It sounded like a gun going off to the CI. I really assume it might've been a ball kicked at the garage door or at least near the front of the house. And when I peeked outside, it seemed no one was there, but then I saw a kid hiding in the bush... ya... kids are evil. I should mention our door was egged several months ago for no reasons whatsoever. :-/

So, I previously mentioned in another entry that my settings on my CI are set to 65, 70, and 75 IDR (the hearing range), and I've realized I prefer the 70 IDR the most. The 65 is kinda lacking in sounds, but the 75 seems too busy and the quality of vocals isn't as good as they are at 70. Yet, I'm finding myself turning the volume up more and more everyday.

My next mapping is next week. Curious to see how much more I improve until then. Until then, tootles.

10 days after activation

Not a whole lot has changed yet. I've worn it to the grocery store and Target a few days ago, and noticed the stores really aren't as loud as I anticipated they'd be. Yet, this could be cause I've had the volume on the low side lately cause once it reaches a certain range, everything becomes high pitchy all over again, so it's more tolerable and constant where I tend to keep the volume. I try to turn it up a little more when I watch TV though so I can grasp more of the vocals and whatever else the TV is throwing at me.

Vocals aren't as bad as they were a week ago, but they're still not clear (which is expected cause it's still early in my journey).

The other day I actually heard the radio that my husband turns on loud (loud according to my left ear that has a profound loss, but not loud to his normal ears), 2 rooms away with the CI. Under my non-CI hearing, I wouldn't hear that radio unless I was within 5 feet of it, sometimes less.

I wish I could say I'm hearing many things in the environment, but I don't seem to be. The CI is picking up the jets this time, though they don't sound like jets, I can still tell they're jets from my left ear. Otherwise, when I wear it outside, it seems pretty quiet ... besides the few cars that drive by over the wall ... and when I wear it to the stores, I guess I'm too busy shopping to really pay attention to anything I could possibly be hearing. Though i certainly noticed when the battery died in Target.

2nd mapping

I did not manage to get a copy of this mapping because the audiologist and most of the office has recently moved into the office and do not have a printer.

On the other hand, I got a better idea of what she's doing to the CI. All the electrodes are turned on, and each one is adjusted to my comfort level of frequencies. She started off with last week, setting my settings only up to 60 decibels and with the frequencies on the low side (I think). Today, she raised the frequencies a little and raised the decibels. One setting is at 65 db, the 2nd at 70 and the 3rd at 75 db. Which totally explains why I'm not hearing jets and stuff with the CI, and why everything sounds like an aura, because I haven't heard frequencies in the low decibels in 2 decades.

Am I hearing much new things? Hearing better? I really do not know. If I keep the volume at a certain point, I can manage to reduce the amount of aura's I'm hearing when people talk, among other things that set it off. Speech is a little more clear, compared to the last settings, but everything is overall going to take a lot more months to improve.

I'll be testing these new settings this week with music again and seeing what's different.

Pre-Surgery Audiogram

Those O's you see, are where my right hearing marks are (you should see that it slopes downwards 
going right). The graph is highlighted into 6 different segments which is the basis of sound levels 
(as indicated in the squares). As you can see, I was usually hearing just low pitch in the moderate 
and loud range, and not picking up much sounds pass 1,000 frequencies.

This graph is a small sample of where certain sounds are located. Such as an airplane being at 110 
decibels, 4,000 frequencies (in the high pitch, loud sound range), and dog barks at 80 db, 500 frequencies 
(low pitch, loud sound range).

Back when I was a kid, those "O" markings would approximately be shifted 30 decibels higher, which also meant I heard more frequencies back then before they sloped off the chart. That was maybe, 15 years ago.

Right now, with the CI, I estimate I am hearing things in the low pitch, soft sound range (low decibels). Mostly, but definitely some moderate sounds still. Which is definitely sounds I haven't heard since I was 7 years old. Though, these sounds are not sounding precise, but the CI is picking them up. My brain will eventually register them and with CI mappings/adjustments, they should become more clearer. I am not sure if the current settings are so ranged that I've been blocked from hearing things like airplanes with the CI, or not, because I have not been able to really distinguish the low and high pitch, loud sounds with the CI yet (the bottom of the chart). The sound of someone talking, is currently, one of the loudest sounds I'm picking up, and often headache inducing.

Day 3

It's been 3 days since activation. I'm not hearing much of a change compared to day 1 in sounds, besides one thing: sentences actually sound like a sentence instead of a series of aura's. But everything is still high pitchy and after a few hours, is too annoying to keep listening to. It is especially worse when I actually try and have a conversation with my husband because my voice is setting off a series of aura's, and so is his, and then I can't even remember what I was talking about, and can't even understand Thomas. So, it's certainly still in the experimental stages, and I've only been using it about 3-6 hours a day. Can't wait to go back to the Audi in 4 days for another mapping. I hope things will sound a lot better after that.

I wish I had more to say, but nope. I am going to attempt dropping a pin on the floor and seeing if I can hear that. Haha. I'll keep ya'll posted on that.

Look at this picture I found in my husbands cell phone - it's my pre-operative picture and I was trying to write a quick entry in our journal before I got drugged, but I had to use my non-writing hand and ya, so I look ridiculous, as does the writing.

The Day of Activation

The Day I got my CI, Advanced Bionics Harmony Activated twas Today! Woot.

It wasn't what I expected. Some people come out of the first activation hearing voices, even if they sound like Donald Duck, but I came out of my activation hearing high pitch frequencies that made me think either mice or Aliens were communicating to me. Or just, both. Most of what I'm hearing, I can't really explain at all. It doesn't really sound like anything I've heard in my life, because none of it is real. What is suppose to be the clacking of the keys on the keyboard, is just some high pitch clicking; what's suppose to be my husbands voice, is some seriously nasal, incomprehensive garble. And this was after I tested him by telling him to talk in low pitch than high pitch. No difference was noted by the CI.

Supposedly my Audiologist had set the settings to be in a certain range, which seems to be only high pitch, so that I would start slow and get use to those. She says the sounds will eventually change into voices and at least leave the high pitch arena, but I'm wondering if that's going to happen naturally or after she adjusts the settings again. My CI has 3 levels on it that I can switch through... in the best way I can describe is one level has a smaller range of sounds available and the third level has the most, and she told me to go up a level every 2 days. Well, I decided to ignore that and check out those levels when I got home today... it's definitely nothing to complain about... the third level certainly sounds better and provides more sounds than the first level.

Since I'm usually at home all day and not really doing much and not around much noise, I decided to turn the music on and let me CI absorb the tunes through the laptop speakers. It's certainly picking up pitches my left ear can't grasp without headphones, but I'm also only hearing the high pitch stuff. Which I could only handle for an hour before I quit for the day. I was given permission to take the CI off when I want, as long as I wear it for several hours a day in the early stages.

I go back next thursday for another tune up. And then 2 weeks after that for a final configuration of my comfort levels. In about 2-3 months, I can start using the cables that hook the CI up to my ipod, computer and phone. I know a ton of you are looking forward to me talking on the phone with ya. I should say you shouldn't get your hopes up though because not everyone with the CI can manage phone conversations. It'll still be a little complicated to understand speech without lip reading, but I really won't know how well I'm going to do with anything until the time comes to test it all.

My husband taped the activation in nearly a dozen segments, and I managed to compose these together into a 13 minute video. I apologize that there are no subtitles, as, not only do I not know what is being said at the moments, the volume is low and I can't hear much, and I don't seem to have a program to allow me to type text in to at least explain what's happening. But maybe I'll find a program and edit it up and repost the video some other day.

So, I'm not very verbal about what I'm hearing, nor do you see much reaction, but that's because it's all on my face. My eyes go wide when something is loud and I grin when I'm happy it's not so loud anymore. But the camera isn't staring at my face the whole time to see it all. :-)

Here is the Implant hooked to my head. As I mentioned long ago, it's pretty massive.

Tomorrow is the daayyyyyyyyy

Tomorrow morning at 9am, I get my implant activated. I am actually pretty excited. Kinda the same way I'm excited about Christmas morning. Or needing to wake up early to take a trip. Thrilled! I don't even care that I gotta wake up at 8am! EIGHT!

I'm already planning tomorrow morning. I hate fast food, but I love McDonalds sausage and biscuit, and I'm NEVER awake or out of the house early enough to get it, so I'm planning to get one tomorrow to eat on the way to the Audi. I also almost never get one correctly made... without cheese. Some of the people just manage to put stupid unnecessary cheese on every breakfast item and I'm too lazy to waltz in and demand they remake it... since it was only $1. Ha. This might also be partially because I sometimes try and order a egg and sausage biscuit... WITHOUT cheese.... it's just too complicated an order for McDonald's workers to succeed at.

Last time I was at the Hearing Center, I noticed there's a really awesome outdoors mall one block away, and I'm going to TRY and talk my lovely understanding husband to let us go there for an hour before we go home. Not really to shop, but to maybe eat some lunch and walk around. I'm expecting him to say 'no.' :-( But maybe he'll say 'yes.' :-D

I'm hoping to go to the AZ State Fair on sunday. Discount morning. And we didn't go last year, so it is vital that we go this year... because I like fairs. I'm hoping they have some navajo fried dough... which is familiar to the east coasters, but maybe considered... or mistaken... as funnel cake to the west coasters. I've never had a funnel cake, but it doesn't quite look the same to me. But fried dough with powdered sugar is the BEST JUNK EVER.

So, many of you are hoping I can get tomorrow filmed, and you'll be happy to know our digital camera has a camcorder, so we will manage to get some of it filmed. I do not like to see myself talking on film, but I will make you all happy and 'try' and post it anyway. I really don't know how to post video's...yet... but I'm definitely planning to get one up.

My husband and I celebrate our 2 year Anniversary on monday, the 18th. We have habits of going to the zoo's on "romantic days"... like Valentine's Day, which is our tradition, and I'm thinking we might go to the zoo on monday. I'm really hoping my CI works well enough that I can hear the birds chip and hear the monkeys talk to me telepathically and the giraffes... grunt... to me (do giraffe's make noise)? Yaaaa. But it might be a long stretch... those might be sounds I won't be able to hear for several months. As I just read that someone who had his CI activated recently has managed to only hear beeps and whistles, and the like, as he had to start out a little slow and work his way up. Not necessarily too slow, as he only had to spend a day or two before getting it updated. But we'll find out tomorrow what my fate is.

Activation Scheduled for Oct 15th

at 9am, that is. My husband will be with me- yay!

I watched a few activation videos that someone suggested to me, and noticed how, well, either the person is really emotional and cries about it, or it seems to resemble getting hearing aids tuned. I'm not a happy crier, so I don't expect to burst out any tears during the experience, therefore, I feel like I will certainly fall into the latter. Those of you that have/had hearing aids, especially the more modern ones, like Oticon, that required computerized adjustments to suit your needs, would know what I'm talking about. Getting the implant turned on and mapped is going to be an equal experience of approvals and disapprovals of sound settings until it's set in a way I'm satisfied with.

I need to remember to be conscientious with the audiologist about this because in my past experience, I have had my hearing aids tuned to settings that were fine - in the office - until I leave the building and wanted to kill myself. Offices are typically pretty silent compared to stepping outside and being in the public, and my experience says the settings are always too loud in public and I got headaches after only a few hours to the point I would stop wearing the hearing aids. I don't expect the CI mapping to be much difference; what's going to sound fine in the office is going to sound like an orchestra outside. So I figure I'm going to need to see if they can start the loud pitch noises on the soft side and gradually build it up to a volume I can tolerate. If possible.

I could clarify and say that with my hearing aids, I was hearing up to 50 decibels, and merely 15 years ago, I was hearing 20 decibels with them. I do have some memories of sounds I use to hear, so it's not like I really don't know what I'm going to start hearing again because I have a pretty good idea. It's just going to come down to how my brain wants to adapt to hearing it all again and how well I can handle it all, which hopefully I'll manage after a while and be like normal people who complain about loud traffic, loud music, loud birds... or like my husband, who can't stand when I chew. I'd love to backfire his complaints and tell him he chews too loud too. I don't know how I'm going to get him to stop turning the TV up so loud though.. without my hearing aids, a comfortable TV volume is 36 (on our TV), but to my husband, he likes it at 48. What gives? Imagine how loud it's going to sound at 48 with the implant!

How the CI Works

Many non-CI people don't seem to understand how the Cochlear Implant works; as I've got most of you asking me if I can hear yet. It's not that simple.

When I had my surgery, I simply had an electrode implanted inside of my cochlea, as well as the internal processor embedded into my skull above my ear. The internal processor is also connected to a magnet so that the external processor will connect to it.

This is the electrode and processor that I had implanted with surgery












This is roughly where it is in my head


And this is what it will look like when I wear the external processor when I get it in about 2-3 weeks. Mine will be approx the same color, but bigger/thicker and closer to my ear.

Image via Wikipedia

A vague statement of how this will all work to help me hear is this:
Sounds will enter at a microphone located at the tip of the ear on that ear piece. They do their digital job and transfer from there to the internal processor, where the sounds are transformed into electrical energy, and begin to activate the electrodes in my cochlea. These electrodes are going to bypass the "dead/non-functioning" hair cells in my cochlea and imitate the sounds, where then, my nerves are going to react and send the information to my brain and my brain will re-learn to process sounds.

As mentioned, it is imitation sound; nothing is going to sound completely the way it does to the normal ear, but frankly, if someone has been deaf for years, they can't really compare the sounds they hear with the CI to anything. People like me though, that has heard things in the past, are likely to contrast. I've heard that a hearing ear and a cochlear implanted ear hardly ever seem to be in sync with the quality of sounds. Hence why I'll also have to experiment to see if I'll prefer wearing this CI with a hearing aid in my other ear or not. Either way, the CI typically helps with the quality of one's life by allowing them hear again, in general, even though it is not perfect and communication can still be a struggle.

Magnet location seems too close to ear. But maybe not.

I was feeling where the magnet is located on my skull and realized it's oddly close to my ear. So close that I'm wondering if it's going to be in a war with the over-the-ear piece. Especially cause AB's ear piece is pretty massive. haha.

See this image: here -- that's like exactly how close the magnet piece will be to my ear. Though this little girl isn't even wearing an ear piece.

Anyway, I'm recovering well now. Most of the time I've been forgetting I just had surgery, until I go to bed. Since I still can't sleep on my right side and it still seems to develop a dull pain when I sleep on the back of my head. Besides some random itching where the tape is behind my ear, everything seems fine. I'm wondering if I'm gonna need a new pillow. Something softer for my ear than the flat feather pillow that I prefer. Doesn't provide support or anything, but that's kinda why I prefer it... I just sleep best with my head as low as possible.

Jaw Issues

My remaining recent issue since the surgery is that my jaw will not open all the way. Opens about only an inch... not quite wide enough to say, eat a burger. I use to have to pop my jaw open every morning, but yea, can't do it now. Not that it hurts trying, but it feels like it might be so dislodged it doesn't even know where to pop into place or something. I can't even crack my neck on the side of the surgery. Is this temporary? Do I need a chiropracter to fix my jaw? Any remedies?? I would like to be able to eat my burger tonight!

Random thoughts

Does having this magnet in my head make me more prone to get struck by lightning than otherwise?

What happens if I DO go through one of those security metal detectors?

What happens if I were to bang my head where the magnet is? Would it just hurt? Break? Press through into my brain? Probably depends on how hard the impact is, but still.

So, I've read people with these CI's gotta be more cautious with physical activities/sports, is this in relation to the external piece or both pieces? Can't I just leave the external off and be fine?

Do any electronic devices interfere with the CI?

6 Days Later

As you may have read in my last post on day 3, I was doing better. I was eating, watching tv, on the computer, drinking water, taking naps... overall, more alive than I was the previous 2 days. But then that night, after eating a nice plate of leftover chinese food and drinking 2 glasses of water (I mention this so you don't think I was actually starving myself like people are thinking), I went to bed about 3 hours later. 10 minutes into watching tv in bed in an upright position, I began to get really nauseous so I went to sleep. I figured the sleep would make the nausea go away like it did the previous 2 days...and frankly any other time of my life, but it didn't. I just got even more nauseous and developed a migraine. For nearly 40 hours total, I was stuck in bed, with my head on my left side, because trying to lift it felt even worse. Lifting my head brought on that feeling that screams "lay the heck back down!" because I've had it several times in the past, and it resulted in me fainting or crawling back into bed to sleep it off.

About 14 hours after it started, my husband got a hold of my surgeon (after 4 hours) and the surgeon wanted me to go see him. He wanted me to get out of bed, in a car, sit there for 40 minutes, and walk to his office for him to check on me. It was literally impossible for me to do that at that point. My husband called 30 minutes after that to cancel the appointment, but the office was on lunch. He left a message, but apparently my surgeon never got the message and waited an hour for me to show up. And was upset about it.

I should mention I couldn't even get up to pee. I was peeing in a bucket over the side of the bed while keeping my head flat, every 2 hours. Seriously, it was pretty bad. We contemplated what to do for an entire day... go to ER, wait it out, or what? We didn't feel it was serious enough for ER, so we didn't bother (or frankly, I just need a PUSH to go to the ER cause I'll never on my own, but my husband was thinking too much like me). I attempted to get up at one point because I thought, "well maybe my body wants me to puke...", so yup, I puked. Then felt worse. Back to bed. Then took some over the counter motion sickness medicine which didn't seem to work at first, but certainly put me to sleep, and 12 hours later, I was able to get out of bed for 2 hours, even though I was still nauseous and dizzy, but it seemed like some improvement. Until I puked again. And oddly, both times I puked was right after I took a Tylenol. At that point, I was OK enough to walk around, and we went to Urgent Care. The doctor confirms ketones in my urine and that I'm severely dehydrated. She also thought I might have a bladder infection because of my peeing so much on so little fluids. My right eardrum was red and she attempted to get a hold of my surgeon to confirm if it is normal or not, but he didn't answer.

We went home, I took my anti-nausea pill she gave me, and was sipping fluids as much as I could handle. I downed one glass of water, and one glass of gatorade. Ate a strawberry popsicle, some graham crackers and chinese food. Didn't puke. Good news. Went to bed just a little bit dizzy and woke up feeling as normal as I could feel today. Just a fullness feeling in my right ear/side of head, and a little bit of dizzyness. My surgeon called this morning to confirm about my red eardrum, and says it is a normal, but also sounded upset (according to my husband) that I went to a different doctor instead of seeing him on monday.

Overall, the experience was ridiculous and I never want to experience it again. I can't figure out where the dehydration decided to kick in, cause like I said, I was eating and drinking the day before it all started when I went to bed. Which was making me wonder if I was having a digestive problem rather. So, I don't know, but I'm just gonna keep drinking and eating and hope it doesn't come back. I'm due for my post-op appt Oct 1, but trying to get that shifted so my husband can go with me.

3 days later

The nausea, dizzyness, and pressure seem to come and go throughout the days now. I woke up feeling not so bad today, so I took my shower and washed my hair as gently as humanly possible. Then the pain and nausea came back after that. Which is ridiculous, because it just makes me want to sleep it off, but then again, I can't even sleep in a comfortable position at all. It's evil. Really am looking forward to the day I can sleep without whining.

I stopped taking meds a day n a half ago too. I was only taking about 200mg of ibuprofen, but felt it was making me feel worse than I felt in the first place, and I guess the pain is bearable. Or I'm just more eager to feel the day the pain is actually gone without the illusion that the pill is making it seem that way.

I've noticed my digestive system seems messed up since the surgery. I haven't felt anything in my stomach region move in 3 days, haven't had a bowel movement, and haven't felt my stomach growl in hunger. AND I look like I've been eating plenty (bloated) despite the lack of food. Even though last night we got my favorite "recovery" food: chinese. It was pretty great. Except having to eat everything in bite size pieces and it took me 30 minutes to eat what I usually eat in 10 minutes. Even despite dinner last night, and a waffle I just ate for breakfast, I still can't feel anything going on down there. What gives?

So I was nagging Thomas all day yesterday to go get me a neck pillow from walmart, but when I finally look online so he knows what to get, it says Walmart isn't selling them in stores anymore. How ridiculous is that? There's gotta be a good follow-up pillow I can try and get so I can sleep better. Cause my left ear is dying. Although I managed to sleep on my back with my head slightly to the left this morning, it still wasn't super comfortable, it was just my only alternative so my ear could take a break.

I wonder how long until I can work out on my stationary bike again. Probably when I actually feel 'ready', but ya, that could be like 2 weeks. :-/

What do I do?

So I'm becoming annoyed that I wasn't given more post-surgery information. All I was told was i can take the bandage off 2 days later and shower if I wanted. That's all. I wasn't told how to wash the area or if I can. My husband and I took my bandage off earlier to check out the area and rewrap it lighter cause it felt like it was pulling all my hair and it was starting to drift off my head. The surgeon didn't shave much hair, there's not much blood or anything, just some tape over the incision, which I'm assuming has stitches under it.... right?

My questions:
-Do I take the tape off when I shower/wash my hair?
-Should I keep the hair away from the area?
-Can I rinse out the inside of my ear?
-When will this tinnitus calm down?
-How long should I expect to be dizzy every time I get up?
-Why is sitting upright not helping with the pain? It seems to feel worse compared to when I lay on my left ear, but it doesn't always go away when I lay down.
-When can I expect to be able to sleep on my right ear again?

I understand the results are different for everyone, but just hearing other people's own experiences would give me a broad idea of what to expect. All I've found is one informative note indicating it took 3 days for the lady to feel a little normal again, though 3 weeks til she felt completely back to normal. I know I overall gotta wait and see how I feel everyday, but it's kinda sucky. I especially don't like when something disrupts my ability to sleep, cause I love sleeping.

Side note, I briefly felt something vibrate where, I think, the magnet is implanted. Not sure if it had to do with that or my hair follicles or whatever. Not that my hair seems to vibrate in general anyways... haha.

Hoping I wake up a lot better tomorrow.

Surgery went well

So I was told.

Here's the day or surgery went (yesterday): after a measly 4 hours of sleep and waking up 3:30am and waiting to leave at 6am, we got to the outpatient surgery center in downtown Phoenix, an hour early (we were expecting traffic, which wasn't so bad in the carpool lane). We arrive at about 6:50am, fill out paperwork, and am called in around 8am. They have me strip down to the undergarments, put on a robe, feet slippers and a hair slip and ask me a bunch of questions. Then the nurse puts the glorious needle in a vein on my hand to give me fluids and check my anemia levels. Then the anesthesiologist shows up and tells me he's going to give me something to "relax", which 2 seconds after he puts that in me, everyone gets really dizzy and I start feeling a lil nauseous, and I passed out. I feel like I was tricked, cause that was suppose to "relax" me, not knock me out. Either way, I vaguely remember being rolled into another room and them telling me to move onto another bed, in which case, i passed out again. Next time I woke up, was about 40 minutes after the surgery. Everything was really blurry and I felt like puking. I had the shakes for about 10 minutes... side effect from the anesthesia I think, then I managed to get my clothes on, in a wheel chair and out of the hospital. My husband and I got home at about 12pm.

My head is wrapped in a huge white bandage and I was told to sleep upright to reduce swelling. Even though I managed that on n off for 4 hours yesterday, I just couldn't do it. So I switched to sleeping flat on my left side for 10 hours last night. Certainly didn't make my good ear feel good, but it hurt worse sitting upright. The pain isn't extreme and I wasn't given any painkillers, though I wish I was, so I was told to take ibuprofen or tylenol as needed. Which didn't seem to help much, and ended up making me paranoid so I stopped taking them cause I felt I was taking too many. Burping tends to hurt my ear drum, although the pain isn't as bad today as it was yesterday. Frankly, besides some swelling under my ear, I feel like the most pain is from my hair being pulled and from where the magnet is implanted. I'm also noticing the bandage is traveling up my head, which is making me think it's pulling on my ear too, which can't be good, so my husband and I are going to attempt to take this one off later and put a new one, which I can leave off tomorrow.

Other than all that, the tinnitus in the implanted ear is annoying and loud and ongoing. I haven't been able to eat anything solid, besides 2 crackers, in the past 24 hours either. My first attempt was some applesauce yesterday but I instantly felt nauseous. I've been drinking some broth here n there, but I'm noticing it's making me tired and dizzy. I also can't open my mouth very wide, although it's likely because I usually gotta pop my jaw in the mornings and I'm not sure I wanna attempt that today.









More to come soon.

Untold things not to take before the surgery

I got a little curious and researched further about things I shouldn't have taken before the surgery, that I wasn't told about and found several lists, which are making me paranoid.

Dept of Otolaryngology

Dallas Otolaryngology

More extensive list of drugs/herbs not to take before any surgery

Basically, it says do not take advil, ibuprofen and such drugs 10 days before surgery, but I don't recall reading it anywhere in anything I was given, and I took an ibuprofen about 2-3 days ago and now I'm all paranoid if I'm going to bleed to death or something. I don't think it's common... bleeding to death from them... but it'll cause me to bleed more than I would otherwise and I suppose it'll be an issue. I'm currently on the phone with the surgeon's assistants to find out if I need to reschedule before this.

Besides that, I also drink these natural energy drinks called Guru, and although nothing in them is on the lists, even that is making me worried. I would've preferred being told about this stuff so I could be super precautious and not be all worried like I am right now. Last thing I want to happen is to die from over bleeding or some heart issue and leaving my husband and family and friends miserable from it.

On the other hand, apparently the anesthiologist never got a hold of "me", and I never got a hold of her, and it seems she was suppose to confirm things with me before the day of the surgery, but we'll see what happens tomorrow... if they don't tell me to reschedule... hoping they won't... still on hold on the phone right now... seems like it's not a big deal (at least to my surgeon), so we'll see how tomorrow goes...

Pre-op Appointment

Today I had my pre-op appointment... which was simply a quick review of what is going to happen tomorrow. By quick, I mean, 10 minutes. I'll arrive at 7am, be put to sleep at 8am, surgery will begin at 9am and finish around 10am, then I will wake up around 11am, and go home. Good news is I will be able to shower/wash my hair on saturday when I take the bandage off. Which is great because so many people said they had to wait 5 days. Other good news, my helix electrode did arrive and it will be the one he's going to put in. Upon my husband asking him about it, the surgeon declares he usually puts in the 1j because it's easy. By a surgeon saying "easy" does that equal "less chance of a malpractice suit?" Or less complications. Maybe it even means faster. Whatever; I don't know why they wouldn't just put in the BEST electrode to begin with. If half these people were aware there was a better one that they had to request, they'd probably request it.

Well, more to post tomorrow, if I'm well enough to get online. Or simply soon. So happy to get this surgery over with tomorrow.

Oh, and my husband came up with the genius idea of posting about his point of view after my surgery. Which I suppose is the same as with parents posting about their kids getting the CI, but either way, he may be making a few contributions in here soon about his perspective. So far, he's mostly just scared about me getting this surgery. For the same reasons most people are. It's amazing that I'm the least scared of anyone I know- I never think bad things are going to happen. I mean, they COULD, but it seems in my life, if I can imagine the bad thing, the bad thing isn't going to come true. Therefore, the good and sometimes unexpected side is going to happen. Tada. I hope nothing bad happens though because he's already mentioned he'll feel guilty by feeling like it's his fault. :-(

Of course, nothing bad is going to happen though. :-)

Potential Rescheduling to occur

I am currently scheduled for my surgery on thursday, but it's possible it'll be rescheduled. I recently found out that I have the option (kind've) to get the 90k helix electrode instead of the 1j curved electrode, but that it depends on the surgeon and it requires a week to be ordered and mailed to the surgeon. Totally wish my source of this information had been around to reveal this to me a month ago cause at the same time, I want the best one, but I don't wanna keep waiting around on this surgery. I'd like to get it over with and start the new process. Either way, I don't know what to expect and am hoping I hear back today (monday) if my surgeon implants the 90k and how long it'd take to receive it. Maybe he was planning to implant that one the whole time... but maybe not... maybe he won't implant that one... then I dunno.. more issues, I suppose.

My husband and I just spent about 6 hours today rearranging 3 rooms in the house, including cleaning. Our living room is currently.... nothing, as we moved the living room into the den, which is a room right off the living room. We prefer the smaller space in here and the carpet, as far as being maximum comfortable for watching TV goes. We are only renting this house though, so it's like, whatever.

Going to bed pretty soon and eager for tomorrow's news.

One week

In likely one week from right now (1:00pm) I will be just getting home from the surgery. And Thomas has managed to get thursday and friday off from work to be with me (which wasn't even necessary, but if he can score a day off from work, he'll do it), even though there's a slight chance the commanders will be mean and make him go to work. Either way, he'll still be able to go with me to the surgery since it's at 7am, but as soon as we get home, he'd have to get ready and leave for work if it comes to it.

On wednesday morning I've got a pre-surgery appointment. I guess to go over everything that is going to happen and make sure I want the AB and so on. Maybe, I'm hoping, I will be able to choose where exactly I want him to put the magnet piece. Yup yup.

Then it appears Oct 1st, I have a post-surgery appt... not sure what for... maybe to make sure my scar is healing fine and everything. Then I'll get the external piece and get it turned on in mid October. Literally, right before my 2nd Anniversary and Thomas's birthday.

16 Days to go

Yep, just 16. 2 weeks plus 2 days. Dun dun dun.

I been thinking about the baldness I'll have on the right side of my head after the surgery. And I felt some tears deep deep in my soul because it would take 3+ years for that hair to grow as long as the rest of my hair. Unless I cut it all short. I'm considering it. This surgery, the shaving that I can't control, just might be the motivator I've always needed to get my hair cut short. And I don't mean my whiney collar length short, I mean short, like maybe ear length, or shoulder length even.

Something like this -------------------------->

Maybe I should dye my hair blue while I'm at it too. Yep. Granted, it'll only last less than a year before it's time to get the dye out and/or redye my natural color, and/or let my hair continue growing long again. But then, what if I get the other ear done! OMG!

Neh, I'm not really freaking out as much as I'm expressing it. Hehe. But I really am considering a short style after the surgery. Something where I will have no choice but to wear my hair down often cause it'd be too short to pull it up, and it would cover the newly growing hair and the scar for a while. But... we'll see what happens in about 3 weeks. haha. Maybe I won't do anything at all. Which is the more likely outcome since I don't invest much into my hair.

Any post-surgery advice? Should I eat ice cream because it'll make my head feel better? (haha, I know, that makes no sense). How long do I gotta wait to shower again? I think I read a few days, but ... um... well, I can still wash myself 15th century style, ya? Great! Will it hurt to sleep on the side i got implanted? For how long? Will I be able to wear my glasses?!?! How about exercising/sweating?

Surgery Risks and Complications

Thought I'd share. Just received some papers in the mail that i have to sign prior to the surgery. Surgery is scheduled for Sept 16th at about 9am.

Infection: the risk is small, but could occur, and would require treatment and could cause the operation to fail.

Facial Paralysis: could occur. The eye on the side of the surgery will not close and the mouth would pull over to the opposite side.

Fluid Drainage: spinal fluid drainage can result in meningitis. Would result in hospitalization.

Anesthesia Risk: can lead to many complications (most that I see is tachycardia).

Failure of the Device: once implanted, may not work due to a break in the wires or the induction wire may fail or cause irritation in relation to other possible problems. (Well that would totally defeat the purpose).

Magnets: The induction coils may contain permanent magnets to assist with the proper alignment of the internal and external coils. The long term effects of permanently implanted magnets is not known.

Electrical Current: a signal processor will be supplied after a period of healing. This processor is connected by a wire to an external induction coil that is worn over the implanted induction behind the ear. These produce an electrical current that stimulate the cochlear nerves. The result of all this stimulation on the nerves, brain, and/or other tissues, is unknown.

Other than that... I should be fine!

AllDeaf.com forum post.... I'm curious about it

When I first decided to get the CI, I started browsing for forums to talk in, and came across Alldeaf.com. After one week, I stopped going on it because half the people seemed somewhat rude and many of them also seem to gang up on the belief that the Nucleus 5 is the best CI. Of course, there are many of us, mainly AB users/choosers that disagree, and you can't get much word in edgewise.

Anyhow, I went back on today and noticed this post from someone who is refusing to talk about who "he" is. Not about who he is though, as much as it what he had to say. And I'm curious how much truth there is to it all and if should play that much of a role in choosing a CI. He mentioned it all in relation to the chart comparing the AB vs. Cochlear:


"These details are only useful if you know what they mean.

1. The temporal resolution numbers really aren't important, as it has already been shown that most CI users are unable to discriminate pitch differences for rates above 300 pulses per second per channel. The total stimulation rates as listed there for both devices are more than capable of delivering this.

2. The spectral resolution numbers are also overexaggerated. Even for systems with as many as 22 electrode pairs/channels most users are incapable of utilising more than 4 - 8 channels for speech recognition. Yes more channels in theory allows for better pitch perception, but in practice this is relevant only to puretones and does not translate to complex sounds because of current interactions between electrodes.

3. An expanded input dynamic range is useful for quiet situations, but in noise it just means you hear more noise, so this could be a positive or a negative depending upon the situation you're in. Current studies suggest an input dynamic range of 40 is better than one of 30, but there is no evidence to suggest an IDR of > 45 offers any further benefit.

4. pitch percepts - the emphasis being very much on potential. Pitch perception research suggests that CI users are unable to reliably rank the direction of a pitch change for a pair of notes 1/4 of an octave apart. Current speech processing strategies are very poor at providing pitch information, as they must work within the limitations of electrical stimulation in fluid-filled environment, the emphasis naturally being on speech as that is their main purpose.

5. Sound coding strategies are generally proprietary and largely device-specific. I haven't seen any evidence to suggest the advanced bionics strategies are superior to anything else on the market."

I would appreciate some insights from those that have beyond researched CI stats themselves.

39 days to go

My surgery is in 39 days. Seems so close. Too close really. My husband is oddly worried about my surgery cause it seems so invasive. I'm sure I'll be fine and the surgery will go fine. I've only been put under anesthesia once before though- when I got my wisdom teeth pulled/cut out. Really, I remember that being the greatest, deepest sleep I have ever had. I felt like I was passed out for hours, but according to my mom, I was only out for 20 minutes. Bummer. If anything, the anesthesia makes the idea of surgery seem lovely, because that is one awesome drug and I won't feel a darn thing. It's not like we can impatiently count in our sleep anyway, thankfully.

I'm curious of how many of you with one implant also wear a hearing aid in the other ear. And also, is there a time when it should be worn often, if it at all matters? (IE: before the implant activation, during activation, every time, or doesn't matter). Does it make hearing things confusing by having one ear hearing extremely well compared to the ear with/without the hearing aid? I've still got to look into getting my hearing aid reprogrammed and everything. Last night, it occurred to me that with the CI, all I gotta do is put it on my head and ear and I can hear things, compared to putting it IN my ear. Which really, sounded so awesome considering how much hearing aid molds suck.

Oh, has anyone experienced the same side effects with the CI that occur with a hearing aid when you're laying your head on a pillow or your hand? Ya know... that annoying beeping sound that the other people complain about. If not, does it affect the sounds? I would assume yes since if you're laying on it you're blocking the microphone. But still, let me know.

My Mom is coming to visit!

Way off topic, I know. But Until Sept, I have nothing on topic to discuss.

I only see my mom about one day a year, if at all, for like 2 hours. We can't talk on the phone (for obvious reasons), she can't afford a computer with internet, so we get to text about a few times a month and that's it. But anyway, I suggested she fly out here and we split the cost of her plane ticket, so voila. She'll be here on monday for a week. What to do though?

It's 115 degrees, on average, out here this summer. You certainly don't want to be outside unless there's a pool to dunk in. I think we'll go bowling. Maybe see a movie. Go to the mall. Have her teach me to crochet (since I taught myself to knit, but figured I should learn crochet cause it's easier to make blankets that way). Possibly go visit her half sister and brother (they have the same father, and they're 20 years younger than my mom), thus they are also my younger half aunt and uncle (haha). We haven't seem in nearly 15 years or so though.

Side news, I have 2 1/2 weeks of vacation before school starts. I'm taking online classes for a Health Science Education degree and there's 4 sessions a year, with 2 week breaks in between them all. It's quite a mundane schedule. Especially since all the classes have, more or less, the same assignment types and deadlines- 4 papers due every 2 weeks for 2 classes for 11 weeks. Either way, I'm so excited to have some free time. Woo.

Other than that, My sister in law is getting married in August to her Coast Guard fiancee. I am a bridesmaid. I hate being a bridesmaid. I am not girly enough to like being a bridesmaid, but I do what I'm told. And I do it cause she wants me to and because she hearts me and I heart her. It shall be fun.

Enough for today. Tootles.

Music

Upon talking to many people that have the cochlear implant, and reading information about what to expect after it, many people don't like music with the CI. Although I suspect which type of CI you get plays a major, obvious, role in how music will sound, it just overall won't sound the same anymore. Partially, I assume, because of how the CI's will not process sounds at the same rate as normal hearing. The implant will process sounds in a more specific order than a normal ear is capable, and often, it won't be all the sounds that are existing. I found this blog with sound samples in it... it is pretty shocking and made me sad. Click here and go down to Music1, and listen to it. you'll hear 5 separate areas, based on channels/spectral bands of a CI, with the last area playing the song normally. To me, the first 3 are awful.... it was screeching and giving me a headache; in the 4th part, I can hear the voice clearer, and the music quite distant, and the last part, somehow, everything sounds perfectly clear, even the voice. Yet, in reality, voices in music are not that clear to me with my level of hearing loss right now. However, that sample goes to 32 channels, the Harmony, will reach 'up to' 120 channels (if channels IS the same thing as spectral bands). I can't find any samples of what 100 channels would sound like, but hopefully, just, way better than that 32 channels.

Either way, I'm worried I won't hear/like Michael Jackson's music after the implantation the way I've heard it the past 15 years. I'd be pretty sad if Dirty Diana and Smooth Criminal won't sound good to me anymore. Dirty Diana is hands down my favorite MJ song ever, and it doesn't have much to do with the lyrics or vocals as it does with the overall sound of it. I guess I'll find out in time though.

Independence Day

Image via Wikipedia

Independence Day is my favorite holiday. Why, you say? I love fireworks. I love how nice people are. I like the family gatherings and barbecuing/food. The parades. The colors. Can't hate its history either. There's only so many days a year when everyone is nice to each other, and this is one of them, without the expectations of buying gifts, religion, and waking up at the crack of dawn (in comparison with Christmas).

What are you doing this year to celebrate? Me, probably a local firework show sunday night and some barbecuing with the husband. Nothing major. Although, there's a possibility we will go to the Phoenix International Raceway tomorrow night to hang up, eat food, and watch their firework show, too. Sounds fun, until you think of the traffic after the show.

Hope everyone has some fun! Celebrate your independence! And if you think we're not a free country (in the best of ways), think about the Middle East, Africa, China, etc. America is looking quite dandy at this point. :-D

Surgery is scheduled

So, after 2 months of waiting to receive either a letter from Medicare, or a phone call from the surgery place, I finally just called them to see what's going on with the insurance. They looked up my file and then say they want to schedule my surgery, which didn't answer my question directly, so she explained Medicare approved it, Tricare denied it. And that Tricare approved what Medicare doesn't... which just makes me wonder if we can get Tricare to approve a second CI. Despite what I've heard people say Tricare doesn't cover CI's, I did directly call, and read online, that Tricare will cover a CI under physician approval that it is a necessity. Might take some begging. Haha, but that's more hope than hearing Medicare only covers one CI.

Anyway, so I scheduled my surgery for mid September because I wanted to wait til after I'm done flying planes for at least 3 months. Only 3 months away.

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Procrastination

Besides the fact I have not written a new post in 2 weeks, mostly because I've been out of town and also because there's not much news- as far as hearing related news goes - I felt I'll write about whatever for writing's sake. And because I'm procrastinating and the husband isn't here to keep me "focused!" (haha).

I am taking online classes which requires I write 4 papers every 2 weeks and I am currently 5 days behind schedule. Until last monday (the 1st), I was a week ahead of schedule. But a trip to CA occurred followed up with a camping trip (in the deathly heat of AZ). And here I am... procrastinating... it's what I do best. But I always get my assignments done on time, so I'm not really worried.

On the other hand, there is still no news from Medicare about the cochlear yet. In fact, I am going to check my medicare claims right NOW and see if it's even been recieved... *checks* yup, nothing. However, although the lady told me they were submitting to Medicare because they usually approve one cochlear implant, I did receive a letter of denial for it from Tricare, which I was also told would not approve it. Yet, I had called Tricare back in February or so, and asked someone if they cover cochlear implants, and someone did say they would cover the cost if it was written off as a medical necessity by my PCM (primary care manager aka physician aka doctor on the military base aka who isn't even in the states right now). Either way, I'm gonna be taking someone's advice to contacting AB's insurance people to handle this stuff for me.

Just curious...

How would the cochlear implant affect my ear, maybe brain, (and motion sickness) while on a plane?

What about when I go to the dentist and they inject those shots deep in the back of my jaw that tend to numb my ear... would it affect the implant in anyway?

How about when I'm at the dentist and they are drilling my tooth... is the sound of the drill while wearing the cochlear going to be very uncomfortable??

What about when I get an xray of my teeth... would it do something to the magnet in my head?

Does anyone even dare leave their CI's on while at the dentist?

Is the first month after the surgery really uncomfortable? I mean, about being completely deaf in that ear... considering I'm not completely deaf in that ear currently...

How long will it take for the shaved hair to grow back so I can look like a girl again? If I had the bone structure, I'd certainly go for a Demi Moore/Natalie Portman shaved look. But I don't.

When going through the security gates at airports, will they make me stand in those round things to scan my entire body?

Do people stare at you when wearing the CI?

Do they treat you even more different when they figure out what's on your head compared to when they find out you simply have a hearing loss?

Writing a book

I've been planning and slowly writing a book for the past 2 years now. And I mean slowly because I literally write an hours worth once a year. My dilemma? I don't have a direct plot yet, so trying to keep up the writing pace with a certain direction in mind is complicated. More or less, I've been writing about my hearing loss and growing up with it. But I don't want it to be another boring book about Deaf/HOH facts, because I don't know about you, but almost every book I've read about deaf culture, or a hearing loss, has been kind've boring and I just couldn't wait to finish it. In fact, I read this book called Inside Deaf Culture which really was, just 250 pages of facts about "deaf culture" and it really took me a year to finish because I didn't have the interest to read it all at once- so I read it sparingly while reading other books more.

Alas, the book by Michael Chorost, Rebuilt: How Becoming Part Computer Made Me Part Human, was actually pretty captivating. I was given this book by an ex-boyfriend who was pretty much a computer nerd and somehow owned this book. Upon finishing it, Chorost's story actually made me NOT want to get the cochlear implant. (This was 5 years ago when I wasn't even considering it, really). But he wrote about it in what felt like a negative tone- although that can be understood considering he had one of the first cochlear implant's ever invented, and we can all quite assume it must've been somewhat bizarre and crappy, as far as new technology goes. Granted, Chorost has had his implant upgraded and is probably pretty happy today with it than he was 10 years ago (or so).

Anyway, so yaaaaa. On a side note, is it really going to be worth publishing another book about receiving a cochlear implant when dozens of people in my situation are doing the same thing? It might benefit me to accomplish it because I want to and I don't know what else I'm capable of writing a book about (my creative side is complete crap, so writing fiction is nearly too complicated for me), but the publishing world is expensive and tough and in the end it may not pay off.

Anyone got a suggestion on some "direction" I could take with my book? So far, it's just stories of my childhood being hard of hearing (kind've) and continues as I grow up and eventually get the cochlear. But I feel like it's lacking.

Which cochlear did I decide to get?

As most people that have the cochlear or have been considering it know, there are 3 companies that make and sell cochlear implants. They are all different in their own rights, but they each also focus on a certain element to sell itself above the other brands. The 3 brands are Med-El, Advanced Bionics, and Cochlear. Currently, their newest products are:
Med-El's Maestro


AB's Harmony

Cochlear's Nucleus 5

Many people I have talked to about these note that the most important part to pay attention to is the internal processor because you "marry it and the company." The internal processor is the piece that will go inside my cochlea and be implanted in the base of my skull, with a magnet embedded. The images you see above are the external processors that go behind the ear and attach to the magnet. The reason you marry the company though is because the surgeon will typically never go back inside the ear and upgrade the internal piece, except maybe, very rarely, or if it needs to be taken out due to complications. But the external processors can be upgraded as newer models are released.

Externally, the biggest difference between the 3 is that the Nucleus is the smallest one yet, but comes with a remote, of a sort, to change settings. The Med-El is pretty typical in size and there's nothing fancy to it, but it has the option for 3 different kind of cochlea implant stems and also comes with a remote. The Harmony is the biggest in size, unfortunately, but does not come with a remote... it has sensors to switch settings on its own. As far as the important things go, like pitch potential, temporal and spectral resolutions, decibel range, this chart is the best thing I can find to summarize the difference between the Nucleus and Harmony. The Maestro is kinda in between the two of them.

Which one did I choose? The Harmony. That chart was the reason why. It has a wider range of potential sounds than the other two have and that's ideally, what I want, as I don't want to be able to just hear people and converse better, but I want to be able to hear as close to normal as possible. I know I won't hear "normal" whatsoever, ever again, but it gives more benefits for the possibility of hearing more than the other two provide. With that said, I can't even process why people pick the Nucleus... it's like picking glasses that see 25/20 instead of 20/20, or 15/20. I know this processor I'm choosing is on the big side, but there's a good chance a smaller version will be released in the next 5 years, probably.

Any questions?

Still waiting

It has been almost three weeks since my last hearing appointment and I have not heard back from insurance yet of approval. Is it suppose to take this long? I really thought it'd take barely a week.

There was a moment just two days ago when I walked in my bedroom to find my husband on his cell phone and he said it was "insurance" and I actually thought it was Medicare or Tricare even, but it turns out it was only car insurance trying to make more money off of us. Bummer. Haha.

More to write eventually...

Final Layout (I hope)

After 3 hours of template hunting, I feel like this is the perfect one for the topic and title. What do you think? Also, do you understand the title? What does it say about me? (I know what it means, but I want to know how you perceive it and if the point gets across appropriately).

Whew. The things I do instead of schoolwork.

P.s. I did not get anything from Medicare yet.