Improvements and Thoughts

Voices have improved. I can tell a girl from a boy now. Singing voices on the other hand... some sound really... crappy... but some sound smooth, though, voices are still, overall, incomprehensive. But not all. I have managed to watch people talk on TV without reading the captions and hearing/understanding probably 40% of speech. But it certainly depends on the person talking. Reminds me of back in middle and high school when I used an FM trainer... this CI feels equivalent to it... noises go directly to my new ear and like I could with the FM, I understood speech waaaaaaaaaaay better, sometimes without lip reading.

Some people think I'm going to love this CI so much I'll be willing to get my other ear implanted as soon as I can. Let me just clarify the way I perceive my situation right now...

Before I got this implant, I didn't want it because I was completely content with who and how I was. I may have trouble hearing people, I may be anti-social because I grew up this way, I may feel discrimination (with no evidence: haha) towards actually scoring a job I would do completely fine at if someone looked past how much I fail an interview because they have to repeat things four times, but I accepted it all. My idea of being happy is being satisfied with who I am and where I am in life, and although it took me until I was 22 years old to get there, I got there. Therefore, I must also mention I'm not a fan of change. Just the idea of throwing me into a social situation (also a changed situation compared to my preference of sitting at home reading), makes me imagine how uncomfortable and boring the situation will be. Although to my realization, the situations are never even as bad as I imagine them, and it takes me reminding myself that in order to talk myself into something, but sometimes I forget, and will totally back out and be alone... where I am the most happy.

Either way, I got this implant because I somehow became open to change and the possibility of my life being a bit easier, if not a lot easier, just by supposedly hoping to hear a little better than I do with hearing aids (since I never wear my hearing aids in the first place). It would be great to be able to succeed at a job interview and actually get a job on my own someday (or maybe with some recommendations, haha) and it would be great to hear what someone is saying to me after two attempts, compared to 4+ attempts and using a third party to explain... assuming we don't give up. Those are just two things I want the most, everything else that comes along with having the CI will just be awesome. But I mean, is it really necessary that I can hear this fan over my head making a ticking noise? Naw, but that's how normal people feel too!

Although having bilateral implants would improve my ability to socialize even greater, I don't see it as necessary. I feel like I have the best of two worlds right now: I've got this bionic device in my head helping me learn to hear as humanly as possible, and I've still got my other ear, no matter how severely deaf it is, that still allows me hear the things I've been hearing for the last 10 years, allows me to hear basic things and still talk/hear when I'm not wearing the CI, and allows me hear the music I've liked for 11 years. Why would I want to give up this ear that is molded me into what I am? Because let's face it, most of you wouldn't even be in my life if I grew up with normal hearing; because although I'm auditorily limited and different from anyone you probably know, I'm pretty awesome from the solitude I've had growing up. I'm not saying getting the second implant would make me less awesome, I just don't see is as necessary.

Will there be an exception? Quite possibly when my my ear completely gives out and is utterly useless. Now that my right ear is naturally deaf, I actually have a deafness to compare my left ear too, and at this point, it seems like an awesome ear when the CI isn't overbearing it. I'll probably be in my 40s the day my left ear completely gives up, but the technology might even be more amazing by then too.