I'm talking about the rude behavior deaf and hard of hearing people (and probably even blind people) experience from the people of society that work in customer service positions, or just society in general. Whether it be a grocery clerk, a fast food server, customer service rep for companies or amusement park works (to name a few). I'm sure many of you have experienced this and know what I'm talking about already.
I remember the first time I experienced something this ridiculous. I was 18, at Taco Bell with my best friend and boyfriend at the time. There were 2 guys at a table next to us just talking really loud, and while I wasn't aware at all what they were talking about, I noticed they just kept glancing at our table and laughing, so I just smiled in response to them. While, my best friend is giving them an evil eye and my boyfriend was acting uneasy. After about 2 minutes of this, my boyfriend snapped at them and walked away upset and me and my friend just went after him and I'm like "what's going on?" Apparently the 2 guys must've figured out I had a hearing loss so when I just kept smiling at them, they kept talking crap to me and I just kept smiling, and my friends just got really pissed off about what was happening and how they were taking advantage of me.
According to my husband, something similar has happened several times while he was in my presence. Once we were at Six Flags Magic Mountain gearing up for that thing where you swing in the air, and one of the workers was talking totally to the back of my head telling me what to do and so on. Of course, I had no idea he was talking to me because he was behind me, but apparently he got all insulting and was like "are you deaf or something?" which I didn't hear, but my husband did and totally yelled at the guy for being so rude because I WAS deaf (kinda). And then the guy felt like a serious douche and left. Again, I had no idea any of this had really happened til he told me the story. All I did grasp was that the guy was being somewhat impatient and rude with me, but it never occurred to me any of it had to do with them trying to talk to me and being unaware I can't even hear them.
Another story is we were at the grocery check out and the grocery clerk was asking me like three times for something, which I didn't hear, and she started to just speak louder and ruder to the point my husband is like "isn't it obvious she can't friggin hear you?" Yea, I guess that made her realize I was hard of hearing that she was being rude. Apparently, this happens to me most of the time I'm at a store and I'm not aware of it most of the time. Not even with my implant, because stores are pretty loud and I still can't hear when clerks are talking to me most of the time unless I'm looking at them before they speak.
After ten of years of stuff like this, I'm still a bit untouched by it all. I mean, I'm flabbergasted that people are seriously this rude to people like me and that I wasn't aware it was happening more than I realized, but I have never let it all affect me much. Quite possibly because it's not MY problem that so many people are rude. If anything, it's all a reminder that society DOES treat those with disabilities indifferent. Sure, they're rude because they think WE are being rude and they don't know why, and that once they realize we actually have a disability, they feel SO sorry as if we're suppose to forgive them, but seriously, it's a show of character on their behalf, and many of them are totally inconsiderate and ignorant and insulting. And it's a wonder I can't a job on my own when lots of you don't believe how seriously tough it is for someone like me to be viewed at an equal level of someone who can hear fine. It's rare and it rather requires connections or someone understanding to look past it.
So really, people, whatcha say ya'll grow more compassion and understanding of how different people are and quit being rude to anyone that doesn't make your life easier. Cause seriously, imagine how easy MY life has got to be. Stuff like this is right up there next to bullying and not everyone is going to react to such behavior as easy as I do. For those of you that have stood by me at some point and stood up for me, love ya'll.
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I know what you mean here! Not from your perspective, but I know what it's like to feel different. I know we've talked about so many things, which is why it's difficult for me to remember what i've already said to you.
ReplyDeleteBut one thing that I have is what they call that social disability. I don't remember the exact term, but it's where you are basically socially fucked! (Pardon my french! :p). Sometimes I don't always get someone's joke or if I tell a joke, they don't always get mine.
Nine times outta ten, they write this off as being 'anti-social,' which by your blogs, I know we have that in common despite the difference. I don't exactly consider it a disability but from what i've read about what the experts say; they say it is a disorder because it's in the brain that effects how social we are.
I can see how hearing loss is nothing to scoff at though. It's always that awkward feeling that you're not fitting in with the crowd you're with or you start to wonder why you bothered to come in the first place. I think I showed you by poem 'The Others,' at one point. In it, I described how it feels to be labeled anti-social, when in reality, I just don't always fit in with people or easily make friends. We're only human, after all!
Another comparison I can make is that when i'm labeled anti-social,I get people who are complete 'douches' as you say, too! The first time I ever came to Ohio, I was helping a friend move his mother from Ohio to WI. I eventually started talking to just one girl there, which was his wife I think. First, my friend's brother was all 'you know you don't have to be afraid to say hello!'
then it was, 'it's the quiet ones you have to worry about, you know! you're startin' to freak me out!' well, it's not always that easy to talk to people when for years you were bullied or put down all the time; and it's not easy when it continues to this day! Most of these jerks don't realize that though.
As I said though, I can see how hearing loss is a bit worse than what i'm describing, but I want you to know that I understand. I'm your friend if you want me to be, as well. (:
oh I'm sorry you had to experience this.. Some people can be really mean!! :( BIG HUGS :)
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