Adventures with the insults of society.

I was talking to my husband a week ago about something and he pointed out to me how rude people in public have been to me. It was fascinating to discover because I've been completely clueless about a lot of it for nearly a decade. I mean, I'm aware of a handful of people that have been rude, but I wasn't aware of how many have actually been rude. Let me clarify what I'm even talking about...

I'm talking about the rude behavior deaf and hard of hearing people (and probably even blind people) experience from the people of society that work in customer service positions, or just society in general. Whether it be a grocery clerk, a fast food server, customer service rep for companies or amusement park works (to name a few). I'm sure many of you have experienced this and know what I'm talking about already.

I remember the first time I experienced something this ridiculous. I was 18, at Taco Bell with my best friend and boyfriend at the time. There were 2 guys at a table next to us just talking really loud, and while I wasn't aware at all what they were talking about, I noticed they just kept glancing at our table and laughing, so I just smiled in response to them. While, my best friend is giving them an evil eye and my boyfriend was acting uneasy. After about 2 minutes of this, my boyfriend snapped at them and walked away upset and me and my friend just went after him and I'm like "what's going on?" Apparently the 2 guys must've figured out I had a hearing loss so when I just kept smiling at them, they kept talking crap to me and I just kept smiling, and my friends just got really pissed off about what was happening and how they were taking advantage of me.

According to my husband, something similar has happened several times while he was in my presence. Once we were at Six Flags Magic Mountain gearing up for that thing where you swing in the air, and one of the workers was talking totally to the back of my head telling me what to do and so on. Of course, I had no idea he was talking to me because he was behind me, but apparently he got all insulting and was like "are you deaf or something?" which I didn't hear, but my husband did and totally yelled at the guy for being so rude because I WAS deaf (kinda). And then the guy felt like a serious douche and left. Again, I had no idea any of this had really happened til he told me the story. All I did grasp was that the guy was being somewhat impatient and rude with me, but it never occurred to me any of it had to do with them trying to talk to me and being unaware I can't even hear them.

Another story is we were at the grocery check out and the grocery clerk was asking me like three times for something, which I didn't hear, and she started to just speak louder and ruder to the point my husband is like "isn't it obvious she can't friggin hear you?" Yea, I guess that made her realize I was hard of hearing that she was being rude. Apparently, this happens to me most of the time I'm at a store and I'm not aware of it most of the time. Not even with my implant, because stores are pretty loud and I still can't hear when clerks are talking to me most of the time unless I'm looking at them before they speak.

After ten of years of stuff like this, I'm still a bit untouched by it all. I mean, I'm flabbergasted that people are seriously this rude to people like me and that I wasn't aware it was happening more than I realized, but I have never let it all affect me much. Quite possibly because it's not MY problem that so many people are rude. If anything, it's all a reminder that society DOES treat those with disabilities indifferent. Sure, they're rude because they think WE are being rude and they don't know why, and that once they realize we actually have a disability, they feel SO sorry as if we're suppose to forgive them, but seriously, it's a show of character on their behalf, and many of them are totally inconsiderate and ignorant and insulting. And it's a wonder I can't a job on my own when lots of you don't believe how seriously tough it is for someone like me to be viewed at an equal level of someone who can hear fine. It's rare and it rather requires connections or someone understanding to look past it.

So really, people, whatcha say ya'll grow more compassion and understanding of how different people are and quit being rude to anyone that doesn't make your life easier. Cause seriously, imagine how easy MY life has got to be. Stuff like this is right up there next to bullying and not everyone is going to react to such behavior as easy as I do. For those of you that have stood by me at some point and stood up for me, love ya'll.

What goes down, can only go back up!

Yep, you read that correct. My hearing may have seemed to decrease nearly 2 months ago, but after my last hearing test, a month ago, everything went back up. My test on basic beeps increased by 5 decibels for 250 hz, 10 db for 4000 hz, and probably 5-10 db for 8000 hz (it was not recorded on my previous test), and remained the same for the remaining hz. As of 2/22/11, I am hearing borderline right on the end of the spectrum of "normal speech level." With that range being 0 db to 20 db. My next test will be in May, and it should show slightly  more of an improvement, but it might not as I might be at my plateau, although improvements can go on for another year and a half, at the most.

My speech tests went back up to. Speech with no background noise was 68% accurate, with only 42% for speech in noise. If you'll recall, nearly 3 months ago I got about 53% or so on hearing in noise. A bit of a drop, but yet, a nice improvement compared to the actual drop I had 2 months ago. I basically got to keep working on hearing high frequency sounds, like "shhh, tsss, sss, etc," as I'm not telling them apart appropriately yet.

Any vertigo, nausea, dizziness I had 2 months ago, is now completely gone. I have been able to drink coffee and alcohol again and experienced no negative side effects. Which is kind of strange at the same time because one beer isn't giving me the buzz it use to give me, and one cup of coffee isn't making me feel fatigued and tired like it did prior to the surgery. Feels like there has been quite a shift in my brains reaction to both chemicals. Besides how great coffee tastes, I'm starting to think "what's the point?" of drinking either. They do nothing; they just taste good.

Other than all that, I am happy to say I can hear birds sing again. It is awesome. We have a handful of "song birds" and hummingbirds that fly around near our backyard because of all the trees in our neighbors backyard. I haven't heard birds sing in nearly 10 years. Also, I think we have pigeons living under our roof and they make a ton of clacking noises. I mean, it's either that, or we've got ghosts or something crawling around up there... but I'm sure it's the pigeons, because we've seen them. And we're going to kill them. (Naw, we're just gonna get them from being able to stay in our roof).

Latest annoyance I can hear: things rolling around in the car when I'm driving. Was a lot less worrisome when I couldn't hear bottles and trash rolling around when I turn corners, but now it's just really annoying that men can't throw their garbage out. (or girls, if you're messy).

How am I doing with conversations? Pretty well. In fact, for the first time in ages, I had a week long chat with my visiting stepdad and I didn't have to say "what?" a billion times or lean in really close to hear him all the time. I felt "normal." It was nice. Now, I can't wait to experience the same with my mom when she visits sometime this year because she's usually a lot harder for me to hear.