About Me

For as long as I can remember, I've had a hearing loss. I remember sometime around 5 or 6 years old being fitting with hearing aids. And I remember wearing them in first grade, as opposed to preschool. My behavior in preschool, in fact, might have been the jumping stone that alerted teachers and my parents I had a hearing loss. There were times I was being scolded for "not listening," although I could assume it was because I just didn't hear them. I wasn't the type of kid that would just ignore authority and have my way, unless you were my parents or my brother. :-)

According to my audiograms, my hearing loss was only in the moderate range as a kid. It kept going downhill after that, to the point that now, 20 years later, it's a severe loss. There was a time I could hear birds and rain on the roof and the loud chirping of crickets in Arizona at nightfall. There was even a time I heard an earthquake five seconds before it hit. I could usually tell when my parents came home as I would hear the roaring engine of a VW bus 1/4 mile up the hill. Today, the loudest thing I hear is the TV when my husband turns it up to volume 50. Something I don't understand, being that he has completely healthy hearing. (I mean, this is actually the "loudest" thing, which I hear perfectly fine at volume 32). Occasionally I'll hear the jets fly overhead, yet, they are certainly not as loud as they were 7 or so years ago. The most uncomfortable sound? Front row at a rock concert. There's just something about all that bass roaring out and vibrating the place that makes me feel sick to the gut, nauseous, and at one point, made me want to cry.

Why am I writing all this? Because I'm in the process of getting the cochlear implant. In fact, today I have my last appointment of the process- the hearing test- to prove to insurance my hearing sucks, even with hearing aids. I should most likely be approved for one cochlear, as opposed to two. Although my husband and I may fight to get a second one next year, if I feel like it'll benefit me more than one will. Surgery will be booked for probably end of June to end of July, as I'll be surprised if it's booked beyond that.

Alas, being I've been a hard of hearing person in a hearing world my entire life, I am excited to become a little more of a hearing person in a hearing world. No more telling store clerks, "I have a hearing loss" so that they would get the snotty look off their face for thinking I was being rude and ignoring them. No more sitting in groups and staring at people talk and talk and talk to the point I just want to go home from a lack of any idea what is going on. No more being in public and walking by everyone with a smile because they asked me something that I'm not interested in them repeating 5x so I can respond. And no more just not hearing most things. Hey! And to my husbands delight, I might actually be able to sit a classical concert with him and listen to the music instead of talking to him out of boredom. Even though the thought of me talking and talking instead of listening makes him laugh at the memory.

Well, gotta get ready for my appointment now! Tootles.