Hilarious post on Buzzfeed that only the HoH can relate to

Here's the link: 15 Struggles Only Hearing Impaired People Will Understand.

Made me laugh! I can certainly relate to every single one. Glad I'm not alone!

"Never Mind"

I was regularly checking my facebook feed when I see this shared post about two words that should never be said to a hard of hearing person. Most, if not all, hard of hearing people likely already know the two words before they even read what the person was referring to. They are "never mind."

Here's a link to the opinion piece on Times Colonist. I could not have said this piece better than the author did. In fact, after I read the first few paragraphs, I thought someone stole something I had written in the past! The girl has an extremely similar background to me- by when she became HoH, her use of hearing aids and the FM Trainer in schools and constant annoyance of people saying "never mind" to her when she asked them to repeat something. She really hits it home about how rude it is, without actually acknowledging that it's rude. We just find it insulting; as if we're a burden for needing you to repeat something! The image above is quite frankly, what I feel when someone says it.

I also like that she mentions how hearing for us, is not passive. It takes us a lot of effort and the results can be tiring. At the end of a day, there's nothing more pleasant than being able to take off the hearing aid(s) and/or cochlear implant(s) and being able to relax in silence. For those of us that also have to lip read, it's nearly twice as tiring an effort to listen with the ears AND eyes. I actually found myself developing tunnel vision today when I was so focused on lip reading my boss for 10 minutes. And that was ONLY for a 10 minute conversation. But that's how much work it took me to try my hardest to hear and understand every single word he was saying. As opposed to the half-assed effort I usually surmount myself to in order to prevent myself from wearing out too fast.

Most people don't realize this, even those that have been in my presence often in the past, but I get suddenly tired when I'm around people in social situations when I wasn't even tired before I arrived. This is due to the communication wearing me down... really fast. Shortly after I arrive, I start to disappear to hog a TV or read a book or something. I realize people might think this is me being rude, but it's really me trying to save myself from passing out in a coma of exhaustion. I just canNOT keep up with that much communication, especially if it's a room full of people. And to make it easier, no one really tries to talk to me anyway. I'll spend half of my energy keeping alert in case someone wants to talk, but then, nope. I get it, I'm awkward and quiet and when you finally do ask me something, my answer is probably five words and not all that entertaining. (Which, really, if that's the case, you probably shouldn't ask such a question. I'm not a comedian). But then, just ask me another question! Show interest! I know, you're probably thinking, "why don't you just ask people questions instead?!" Well, because, as mentioned above, it's exhausting for me to exert that much energy. Plus, I'm quiet and not known to just start talking to anyone I'm not comfortable with. My energy is precious, and I choose wisely where I spend it. Plus, I've had too much experience with people brushing me off with "never minds" when I did show interest, but couldn't understand them, and when that happens enough, you just generally start to give up on the human race.

But hey, I'm only (almost) 30. I'm young. I'm growing. And I'm putting myself out there more. Just maybe humanity will win itself back and I'll be that middle age person who talks to everyone. Until then though, you can email me, IM me, and text me as much as you want. It's funner that way.And no one says "never mind" in written format.

Well, well, well...

It's now nearing the end of March 2014, and, I have not posted in forever. Unfortunately, I have nothing to say CI related either! I am simply thriving. My CI is still functioning as well as day 1. It's been 3.5 years now. Really, I am just waiting for the 5 year mark so I can upgrade to the smaller processor.

I can however, talk about my paranoia of my CI eventually breaking. It stresses me out thinking that could happen. If you're a follower (or know me), you know that while I'm "legally Deaf," I do hear - in my humble opinion - fairly enough in my non-implanted ear to get through a one-on-one conversation with someone I know with the help of lip reading. However, my attention span is reduced and I tire out fast communicating this way and eventually look away and piss the person off. :-) The point though, I do not sign to communicate. When I'm really stuck on a word I can't hear or lip read, the person will finger-spell the word if they know how to. If they don't know ASL, it kinda just ends there. I end up feeling like a useless moron for wasting this person's attention while we've become increasingly frustrated that I can't understand them. THAT is how most communication goes when I don't have my CI on. And I don't even want to imagine the day that could happen would become a reality, and last... weeks... if my CI were to ever break. Sad, I know. Whatever. Anyways! It's a constant reminder that I should learn ASL and somehow force people around me to learn it too. Well, actually, while that can benefit me in some ways, it's not going to benefit me with hearing people who don't know it. Shoot! I guess the answer is called paper and pen. But then, maybe it's not! Imagine that the one time I whip out that paper and pen and ask the person to write down what they are saying, and it turns out they can't write! Because they're missing their arms! I'm just kidding; I realize those odds are extremely slim. Like I said, Paranoia. Let's just hope it never comes to its demise. Ever. Or let's just hope that wherever I work when that day comes, that everyone just has a field day with the fact I can't hear a thing they're saying and I would prefer to be in my little cave by myself. Yea, I like this option the most. I guess it just means I need a new job, 'eh?

I remember I posted about a movie that was coming out... eventually... I wonder if it ever came out. Lemme google... I obviously did not keep on top of this film. 95 Decibels was released 10 months ago, and from what I'm seeing, the only way to watch it is to buy the film for $25 from their website. It does not appear to be online anywhere. If anyone has seen it online, feel free to let me know where. I am not a fan of spending $25 for a DVD.